The feeling that overwhelmed me when I came home was betrayal. I felt like God had betrayed me. Let me explain this. I was 100 percent sure that I went on my mission when God wanted me to. But I also knew that God sent me home. When I came home as I have explained it was the worse thing in my life. It hurt so bad and I thought that my heart would explode. There are really no words to describe how upset I was.
If I had done what Good wanted me to why did he lead me to this pain. I did everything I was supposed to do but I still got hurt. I felt that God had betrayed me that he had lead me down a road of hurt and if he had really loved me then he wouldn't have allowed this pain to happen.
There was a little while when I was really mad at God for this. I would barely talk to him. I didn't go to the temple to feel him. I read my scriptures a little but I didn't study them. But God always waited for me. And Jesus Christ was always there for me. I realized that I was not seeing the whole picture. Yes, it was horrible but after awhile I began to know that God did not want to hurt me. It pained him to see me upset but he knew what was best for me. He knew that this event would have the opportunity to change my life for the better.
Why am I telling you this? Because I felt that God caused me pain and many people feel that way. We have to learn to trust God. And allow him to show us what we can become. We can get hurt because of other's agency or because we made a bad choose or because God had a different plan for us. Just be strong and know that He is God and He loves you. Thought pain we become who God wants us to be.
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