True story, going home early from your mission is horrible. To me it was devastating. When my mission president said I had to go home it was the worse day of my life. It blind sided me. My biggest fear was going home early. I cried and I was so upset. I even got accused of using my tears to manipulate people. It felt like I was a child not trusted with my own life. Everything went on around me but no one would talk to me. My companion was the one in charge. No one asked for my opinion or told me what was going on. I just did what I was told. Everyone seemed to have known I was going home but me. I was treated like I was on the death sentence by the other missionaries and that is how it felt. I was embarrassed and upset and disappointed in myself. I came home and spent most of the night crying, more like sobbing.
Why am I telling you this because it is what happened. Because not every missionary has the same experience but it can be really bad. But I think it is mainly because I need to get it out. This day (almost a year ago) still haunts my mind and still causes a little bit of pain.
What I learned from this experience. It is okay to be devastated or upset. It is okay to cry until your eyes fall out as long as when you are done you keep going.
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