What do I say?

I have a dilemma that I face everyday and I think that most MRRM (medically released return missionary) have. What do I say when I talk about my mission. Do I mention I came home early or do I not. If I don't mention it and talk like I served 18 months does that make me a liar? When I don't mention it am I devising people. I don't know but this is what I do know. I served a full time mission and successfully completed it.  That's what classifies a RM. Also I know that it is no ones business that I came home early or why. I can voluntarily give the information but I don't have to.
So what have I decided to do. I am not going to hide it because I am not ashamed but I am not going to broadcast it because it is not important to whatever story I am telling or what ever conversation I am in. Long story short. Any Medically released missionary is without a doubt an returned missionary. So don't be ashamed.
As a matter of fact, no one be ashamed. No matter what your weaknesses are it is not important. As long as god is proud of what you are doing what others think doesn't matter.

A Worker In the Vineyard

When my mission president called me into his office to tell me I was going home he reminded me of the story of the workers in the vineyard. By the time he was done I was sobbing but he still had a good point. The worker that had been there the longest got paid what they agreed on. But they were unhappy because the ones that worked the least still got paid the same.
My whole life I had been the worker that worked the longest and the hardest. I always went to church and did what I was suppose to. But when my mission was cut short I was no longer the longest worker I was the shortest worker. The one that didn't get to work as long as the others. I believe/ trying to believe that I will get the same blessings in heaven for the short time I worked as I would have gotten if I had been able to stay the entire time. This is not meant to be unfair to the longer workers but merciful to the ones that didn't have the ability, chance, or health to work the entire day.
What I learned is that all God wants is your best and your willingness. Everyone's best is different and God knows what that is. Some people's best is to go for a 24 month or 18 month mission. Others 5. Some have 5 kids, some people's best is adopting 1.
Do your best and God will do the rest

It's good to be home again?

True story, going home early from your mission is horrible. To me it was devastating. When my mission president said I had to go home it was the worse day of my life. It blind sided me. My biggest fear was going home early. I cried and I was so upset. I  even got accused of using my tears to manipulate people. It felt like I was a child not trusted with my own life. Everything went on around me but no one would talk to me. My companion was the one in charge. No one asked for my opinion or told me what was going on. I just did what I was told. Everyone seemed to have known I was going home but me. I was treated like I was on the death sentence by the other missionaries and that is how it felt. I was embarrassed and upset and disappointed in myself. I came home and spent most of the night crying, more like sobbing.
Why am I telling you this because it is what happened. Because not every missionary has the same experience but it can be really bad. But I think it is mainly because I need to get it out. This day (almost a year ago) still haunts my mind and still causes a little bit of pain.
What I learned from this experience. It is okay to be devastated or upset. It is okay to cry until your eyes fall out as long as when you are done you keep going.